i'm currently sitting in joburg as close to the heater as possible while avoiding burns, flipping around two coins i have on a piece of string from egypt. the first of these coins went on when i got to egypt a few months ago. the second went on 3 weeks later when i finally got myself sorted to leave egypt for ghana. i am wondering what two symbolic things i'll make for my south africa version of this blessed debacle. the rand doesn't come with coins with holes so, i'll have to keep my eyes open for something else.
i was hoping to be on my way to the airport on the flashy gautrain right about now but, that would be a silly idea. instead, i'm wrapping my head around being here until next saturday. hooray? and, joburg during world cup isn't nearly as friendly to exploring as egypt was so, its not looking like a particularly exciting or inspiring week.
i threw myself a pretty solid pity party this morning... complaining about spending more money, about waiting more time, about being stuck in the suburbs with a tourist-infested mall as my main place to explore, about the cold, and just about anything else i could dream up. i began flipping through facebook looking at what friends and family were doing, wishing that i could be home with them and wondering why i seem to make things so freakin difficult for myself.
my mope-fest was interrupted by a nocturnal friend who was hanging around facebook chat as well. i couldn't be more happy for his nocturnal tendencies because it helped put my incredibly lucky life, which i have nothing to honestly complain about, into perspective.
so, revising my pity party... i have to spend more money that i don't feel i have, but really do and can make back when i come home. i have to spend more time in a country that the world is watching, and feeling the excitement (albeit damped excitement after bafana's last game) of a country that pulls together for one sport. not only that, but i'm stuck in an area of the country where most people dream of living. exploring opportunities may be limited today but, i've also just come back from a huge exploration of southern africa so maybe a boring week is in order. and, while i'm not with friends and family at home, there are some here... and those at home have been around to talk with online and listen to me complain about nothing worthwhile. i suppose i'm lucky afterall.
making me feel more guilty was talking with this nocturnal friend about what i wanted to see happen back in the camp, and how i could possibly go around helping friends who recently asked me why god put them on this earth if it was only to suffer. that kind of question, asked by kids younger than me, is something worth complaining about. another week in parkhurst is not.
what ultimately frustrates me about these visa complications is that not only are they avoidable with a bit of thought and planning (a lesson i have still not fully learned). further, the the money i have to spend on stupid technicalities and bureaucratic hoops could be so much more effectively used in the camp... i think... although, in past trips giving away money has acted as a quick solution to get people to stop talking about what was wrong. maybe a total lack of money on my part will force me to get even more creative with solutions that are possibly more lasting then, here is $20. $20 isn't creative, it doesn't address the problem and it arguably helps me (and the incredible sense of guilt i feel while i sit in my house having 3 meals a day) more than it helps the recipient.
oh also. its world refugee day tomorrow and i wish so badly i was spending it with refugees rather than in a nice suburb of joburg making superficial nods to the plight of refugees worldwide.
annnnd this now concludes the end of my pity party and the beginning of a week devoted to internet research on how to make - for lack of a better saying - the world a better place. tall order for 7 days eh?
so, liberians that read this... see you NEXT saturday. sorry for the false hope. friends/family that read this... thanks for listening to me mope and making me feel missed. ETFL supporters that read this... give me your ideas for how to make this world a better place and work that i could be doing this week (no pressure).
oh and, new blog feature: sign up for ETFL's newsletter (look top right of the blog) if you're not on the list already!
annnnnnnd, go.
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